A Quick Note: These newsletters have been written around volleyball, but the concepts discussed apply to any sport. Feel free to substitute the word “volleyball” with “basketball”, “field hockey”, “curling” or any other sport of your choosing.
This newsletter is Part 2 of a four part series. The goal of this series is to help our players, parents and coaching staff maximize their club volleyball experience and build a better understanding of the game.
In Part 2:
- Players will learn how to be great teammates and handle adversity.
- Parents will begin to teach their athlete responsibility and autonomy.
- Coaches will join our parents in fostering responsibility and explore leadership tools.
Each section is accompanied by videos or articles that expand on the concepts presented. You should definitely read the section targeted to your group, but I encourage players, parents and coaches to read all of the articles (together if possible)!
These newsletters will help us create a great experience for our athletes, families and our coaching staff while providing a framework for our discussions throughout the year.
Let’s get to it!
PLAYER PERFORMANCE – Part 2: Don’t Settle For Good, Be a GREAT Teammate
Picture your favorite teammate. Everyone has one. An enthusiastic player who puts a smile on your face each time you see them. A selfless peer who inspires you to be the best version of yourself. A fearless competitor who helps you raise the level of your game.
Now, imagine if your entire team was made up of these players. Ten amazing teammates supporting, competing, cheering, improving, and leading every day. How much better would each season be? How excited would you be to show up to practice each day?
Here is the great part: We can choose to have that right now.
Being a great teammate doesn’t require you to be 6’ tall. You don’t need to have a 40” vertical jump or be the best passer in the gym. All you need to do is make a commitment to be the best version of yourself and expect the same from your teammates.
Here’s how:
STEP 1: Start With Your Body Language
Harvard University Professor, Amy Cuddy, has spent her career studying body language and its influence on how we perceive others. In fact, body language is so important, it may also change the way you feel about yourself. In Professor Cuddy’s 2012 TED Talk, she outlines how “Power Posing” can increase our confidence even when we don’t feel confident.
You can try it for yourself: Stand up straight, put your hands on your hips with elbows wide, puff out your chest and lift up your chin (think Wonder Woman or Superman). Feeling confident yet?
Now try the opposite: slouch, cross your arms, avoid eye contact and, whatever you do, don’t smile. How do you feel now? Probably like the kind of person that nobody would approach in the hallway at school.
There are a number of simple ways we can demonstrate good body language in the gym:
- Put your arms around your teammates in the team huddle
- Look your coaches in the eye and stand up straight when they are talking to you
- Nod your head to show that you hear a coach or teammate
- High-five everyone. NBA teams including the Golden State Warriors think this is so important that they apply research from UC Berkeley to measure and improve on the amount of contact between teammates.
- Smile! Smiling actually releases chemicals that make you happier and the people around you view you as more confident, relaxed and enthusiastic.
STEP 2: Think About the Way You Talk
Humans have developed over 7,000 languages to communicate with each other. In his bestseller, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, Yuval Noah Harari outlines how homo sapiens rose to dominance based on their ability to cooperate in large groups.
This cooperation was fostered by their advanced skills in language. To harness this power to become a great teammate, we will need to focus on both WHAT we are saying and HOW we are saying it.
Scenario #1 – What to Say
Your team just got aced. We know that passing is a difficult skill and you can assume that your teammate did not actively try to make the error. She is upset at herself and unhappy with the result of the play. You yell out from the sideline:
- “C’mon guys, we need a pass!!!”
Or…
- “We got the next one! Let’s get a sideout!”
Option A is a good example of what not to say. It places blame, shows frustration and sounds desperate. In contrast, Option B focuses on the next point and shows support for your teammates.
Option B is clearly a better example of WHAT to say. Now, let’s look at HOW we say things:
Scenario #2 – How to Say It
Same play. Your team got aced. You have been practicing passing all season. This time, your coach calls out from the sidelines:
- “C’mon guys, focus on your passing angles!” (Exasperated voice, rolls eyes, throws clipboard down on the bench, doesn’t make eye contact)
Or…
- “C’mon guys, focus on your passing angles!” (Confident, supportive voice, nods head and claps, makes eye contact with players)
Option A can make a player feel small, nervous and insecure, while Option B shows belief in the team and commitment to applying the skills we learn in practice. The words are the exact same, but the feelings they evoke are very different.
The lesson here is simple: (#1) think about what you say and (#2) make sure you say it in a way that supports and inspires the people around you.
STEP 3: Be Consistent & Resilient
It’s easy to have a positive attitude when things are going well, but what truly defines a great teammate is how they handle adversity. How do you respond after a tough loss? How do you support your teammates after the 3rd missed pass in a row?
Great teammates display resilience: the ability to bounce back from losses and failure. Instead of letting failure sidetrack you, use these temporary setbacks to identify areas of improvement and show your teammates that your support is unconditional.
It might not be easy all of the time, but in the end, how we respond to failure defines our worth as teammates.
“Choose to lift people up, not to lower them down — because it is a choice, always, and because in doing so, you lift yourself up.” – Maria Popova
Energy-Raisers: What NBA Coach Brad Stevens Looks For in His Athletes (3m video)
12 Qualities of a Great Teammate: Do These Qualities Describe You? (3m article)
The Pyramid of Success: How to Achieve Your Personal Best (Chart)
PARENT CORNER – Part 2: Teach a Man to Fish…
John Kessel, the former Director of Sport Development for USA Volleyball, believes that the primary goal of both parents and coaches is simple…to make ourselves unnecessary.
And he’s right! Youth sports provide a context for young people to establish autonomy and take ownership of their behavior. If we do our jobs well, each player will be able to rely on herself to achieve her goals with little to no adult intervention.
As it turns out, allowing players to develop these skills builds athletes who are more invested in their experience and get more satisfaction from participating. These results also hold true in the “real world” where adults with more autonomy report higher levels of job satisfaction.
So how do we teach our players these skills?
The most important thing we can do to build autonomy is allow our athletes the opportunity to speak for themselves. Player/Coach Communication is an integral part of the team dynamic. Players should be reaching out to coaches directly with questions about:
- Playing time
- Development opportunities
- Team expectations
It may be uncomfortable for players at first and that is OK! At the youngest levels (Grade 8 & Below) it might be a good idea to shoot the coach an email first to let them know that the player wants to approach them but is nervous about the interaction.
Once a player gets into high school, they should begin to feel more confident about talking to adults in leadership positions. We recommend that they try it on their own before bringing in a parent.
Ultimately, players who develop autonomy will be more comfortable advocating for themselves outside the gym while interacting with teachers, negotiating salary at work and communicating with doctors and other professionals.
“Yes, mother, I told you, I’m doing fine ON MY OWN at college…Hey could you log on and find my schedule, order my books and call me when it’s time for class?”
Now that our players are developing autonomy, we can provide them with a simple task to help them take ownership of their youth volleyball experience:
Players Pack Their Own Bags.
Packing your equipment bag is a simple responsibility that children of ANY AGE are able to do independently. Here are a few tips to make it run as smooth as possible:
- Designate a “Volleyball Only” Bag
- Consult our Equipment Checklist
- Pack It the Same Way Every Time
- Double Check the Essentials (Shoes, Socks, Spandex, Jerseys)
Here is the hard part…how will you react as a parent when your child forgets her shoes, spandex or jersey and can’t play? Here are a few things you shouldn’t do…
- Apologize to the Coach
- It’s not your fault. The player should apologize to the coach and her teammates.
- Yell at the Coach
- It’s not the coach’s fault that your daughter did not bring all of her jerseys.
- Berate your Daughter
- She probably feels pretty bad already.
Instead, we recommend the following:
- The player should tell her coach ASAP so the coach can adjust lineups.
- She should address her team to let them know the situation.
- She could ask you, her parent, very nicely if you are willing to drive back home or to the hotel to pick up the missing items.
There may be consequences from the coach, but the important thing is to be up front about the situation and accept responsibility.
Is your child having a really tough time remembering her things? Have her write the checklist items on the inside of her bag in permanent marker.
Teaching children to create systems that help in their daily life is another great approach for building responsibility.
Volleyball Equipment Checklist: Everything You Need Goes in One Bag (2m Read)
Teach Them to Do It Themselves: Use Sport to Develop Independent Players (5m Article)
Are You a Crutch For Your Child: Reassess Your Role & Empower Your Athlete (5m Article)
COACHES CLASSROOM – Part 2: Empower Your Players
While parents are a major factor in developing player autonomy off the court, coaches provide opportunities for development at practices and tournaments. There are a number of ways coaches can set expectations for player behavior that will encourage leadership and responsibility.
Here are a few examples:
On the Court…
- Designate a player to get the team back to the drill after a water break
- Assign your Libero to set up S/R (making sure everyone is at 20’ and spacing is good)
- Nominate a player to lead team cheers
- Rotate team captains so everyone shares the responsibility
Off the Court…
- Encourage players to set up team lunches or psych parties
- Assign film review “homework” so players can evaluate their own development
- Delegate equipment setup and breakdown to team members
- Ask players to create an online group to share pictures and other team info
Now that our parents are empowering our players to act autonomously and coaches are teaching them responsibility, what happens when they make a mistake?
NBA Superstar Blake Griffin forgot his jersey at halftime of his Pistons debut and had to be benched
Scenario:
A player forgets her jersey…
First, make sure your response is MEASURED.
You will probably be upset. Our staff puts a lot of time into practices and putting together lineups. When a player doesn’t come prepared, it hurts the team and puts the coach in a difficult situation where they need to adjust their plans quickly.
You may be frustrated, but stay calm and thank them for being up front about it. Remember, we want to promote an environment where honesty is encouraged.
Next, explain the consequences. Be REASONABLE.
People make mistakes and the player probably feels horrible already. My personal policy is the following:
If you are not ready to play when the referee whistles for captains, you sit for that set.
The consequence is clear and the timing is not arbitrary. You are either ready in full uniform at that time or you are not.
If the player is able to get her jersey by the start of the next match, then she would be allowed to play in that match. Whatever the consequence, explain it clearly and offer a plan for moving forward.
In the end, Players, Coaches and Parents are all trying to be the best that we can be. But we will all make mistakes.
How we respond to those mistakes defines us and will help us create a better generation of young people through sports.
It Doesn’t Have to be Negative: How to Teach Accountability in a Positive Way (4m Article)
Coach Your Brains Out: Autonomy and Feedback with Lorraine Davies Part 1 (32m Podcast, December 6, 2018)
Coach Your Brains Out: Autonomy and Feedback with Lorraine Davies Part 2 (29m Podcast, December 13, 2018)
THANKS FOR READING!
I hope you enjoyed this newsletter! If you have any feedback, please send me an email or grab me after a practice or game. Which article or video is your favorite? What do you want more or less of? Have a better name for this newsletter? Other suggestions? Let me know! (Just make sure your feedback is Radically Candid…)
See you on the court!
Coach Scott